The “Being” of Being a Coach

David Graham June 8, 2021

Monthly Newsletter

Do you ever have the feeling that you’re letting the team down?

If you answered “yes”, you’re not alone. Recently, I asked a leader, “What do you think your team wants more of?” He looked at me intensely through our fuzzy Zoom connection and his eyes welled up with tears. “My time,” he said, “they want more of my time.”

I felt my heart clench. I hear about this feeling a lot. After our session, I began tracking the themes of my coaching sessions over the past year and noticed that the vast majority revolve around how leaders struggle to show up for their teams. Time is our most valuable resource and with huge expectations and competing demands, it’s a tough balancing act!

Being a great leader isn’t about the job title, the certificate on your wall or even the amount of time you are spending with your team. It’s a way of “being.”

Recently, I was asked to appear in a video with four other executive coaches and we were asked to articulate the “being” of being a coach. We talked about how, as a leader, there are times when you need to be directive and to lay down clear expectations, but there are other times when you can be more non-directive, or in other words, more coach-like.

As you watch this video, see what resonates for you. Take note of what you are already doing well and consider how you might shift your presence and try something new. As coach Michèle Soregaroli says in the video, “To understand the journey of transformation, we also must be in a journey of transformation.”

Even small shifts can make a huge impact. You don’t need to upend your life to be more present with your team. Every day, you can experiment with “being” in new ways.

Curiously yours,


David Graham

Dave coaches good leaders who want to be great leaders and he works with leaders to build high performing, super-focused teams. For transformational experiences, he takes teams out of the boardroom and into nature.